I don't think I've heard it better explained than this.

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

BUT DON'T DRIVE A CAR, THAT CAN BE FATAL!

This needs no introduction

Go to this URL if you need the advice, genlemen be warned you are in danger.

http://www.giftmonger.com/acatalog/Bed_Snake_Bat.html

THE PROGRESSION OF TEACHING MATHS AS TIMES CHANGE

TEACHING MATHS IN 1970 A logger sells a truckload of timber for $200. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

TEACHING MATHS IN 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for $200. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit?

TEACHING MATHS IN 1990 A forester sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $160. How much was his profit?

TEACHING MATHS IN 2000 A forester sells a truckload of timber for $200. His cost of production is $160 and his profit is $40. Your assignment: Underline the number 40.

TEACHING MATHS IN 2005 A forester cuts down a beautiful native forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our old growth forests. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and possums might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of $40.

TEACHING MATHS IN 2009 A forester is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling license. He is also fined $200 as his chainsaw is in breach of Occupational Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something or someone. He has used a chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another $200 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find environmental protestors have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing a minority group, imprisoned and fined a further $200. While he is in jail the environmental protestors cut down the rest of his wood and sold it on the open market for $200 cash. They also have on leaving a barbeque of possum and native hen and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly struck tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced $12,000 plus GST for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor. Your assignment: How many times is the forester going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make $200 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

TEACHING MATHS IN 2010 A forester doesn't sell a truck load of timber because he can't get a loan to buy a new truck because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in the USA and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million dollar bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses. The logger struggles to pay the $2400 road tax on his old truck however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. Some Muslim loggers buy the truck from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the Australia with different names and fresh girls to exploit and start again. The forester protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old truck he is forced to pay $2,500 registration fees as a gang master. The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances. Your assignment: You do the maths.

TEACHING MATHS 2017 أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانت=D 8ج من الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

Recipe for financial ruin - Guaranteed.

It is the month of August 2009, on the shores of the Black Sea . It has been raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a €100 [Euro] note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.
The hotel proprietor takes the €100 note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The Butcher takes the €100 note and runs to pay his debt to the goat herder. The goat herder takes the €100 note and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. The supplier of feed and fuel takes the €100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town prostitute that in these hard times gave her services on credit. The prostitute runs to the hotel and pays off her debt with the €100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there. The hotel proprietor then lays the €100 note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms and takes his €100 note after saying that he did not like any of the rooms and leaves town.
No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business today.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

So you reckon you know cricket history eh?

The following item is courtesy of Ireckon.net and is posted as shown in its entirety. There are a myriad of myths about relating to the "Ashes" that gets the Aussies and Poms all fired up each time the series is played, either in Australia or the UK. Why else would the "Balmie Army" trapise half way around the world to support the mediocre team of recent years.

"i reckon - - - - but i’m no authority

The Ashes urn is not a trophy!

by Mathew on August 5th, 2009
Whenever Australia wins or retains the Ashes, people call for “the urn” to be sent home with the team, believing it to be a trophy. It’s an understandable assumption, but the urn’s history shows that they are incorrect.
Most cricket fans know the story – after Australia beat England in an 1882 test match, a mock obituary appeared in The Sporting Times “in Affectionate Remembrance of English Cricket”. The final line of the obituary reads, “The body will be cremated and the Ashes taken to Australia”. Thus began one of the most enduring sports legends.
The obituary was a great joke, and English captain Ivo Bligh (later to become Lord Darnley) declared that he’d regain “the Ashes” when England toured Australia in 1882-83. He referred to “the Ashes” several times during the tour, and the Australian media ran with it. The term then fell out of use for twenty years before being cemented by English captain Plum Warner when he published How We Recovered The Ashes in 1903.
The Ashes legend was forty-five years old when the general public became aware of a certain urn. The following poem, appearing in The Cricketers Annual in 1925, indicates as much:
So here’s to Chapman, Hendren and Hobbs,Gilligan, Woolley and Hearne:May they bring back to the Motherland,The ashes which have no urn!
(For the record, England was thumped 4-1.)
In 1927 Florence Bligh, widow of Ivo Bligh, gave the Marylebone Cricket Club a small terracotta urn that had been given to her husband some years prior. Although the details are disputed it is believed that a group of Victorian women, picking up on the “ashes” term used by the media, awarded him the urn after England’s series victory in 1883.
The urn was a personal gift to Bligh, and was later a personal gift to the MCC. It is known as the “Darnley urn” to distinguish it from other, less celebrated urns that have surfaced over the years.
The Darnley urn was kept in the Long Room at Lord’s until 1953, when it was moved to the MCC Museum at the same ground. Its prominence has led many to assume that the test series is named for it alone, and they believe it to be the trophy. The Ashes, however, are metaphorical. It is an idea created by The Sporting Times, and one which grew in stature as it collected more stories. The Darnley urn is just one of those stories.
No doubt there are those who would read this and say, “so what?” Despite the history, they would claim that the Darnley urn has come to represent the Ashes for most people and should therefore be considered a trophy. I do not agree.
The urn is delicate and belongs in a museum so that it can be correctly maintained. The MCC respected the wishes of the Australian public and created a large replica trophy of Waterford Crystal to award to victorious teams. If we must have a trophy, this is more suitable than a 125-year-old terracotta artefact.
I don’t understand the attraction to trophies. I believe that the idea is more compelling than a trophy could ever be. The death of English cricket! What a notion! Since 1882 we’ve been playing tests to either regain England’s honour, or to rub her nose in it some more (depending on whose side you’re on). How simply marvellous. I doubt I’ll convince many of my fellow Australians to come around to my way of thinking; we’re too fixated on the physical, on ownership, on possession. If people know the history, though, we can debate these last points alone." Worth reading was it?

Well how about a little trivia to go with it.

Titled "A little known fact about cricket."

The first testicular guard was used in cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for someone to realize that their brain could also be important ...... Post a comment, all welcome.

Oh wahat ever will they think of next?

Let's face it. How many times have we all seen lizards that have lost all or at least a part of their tails? I must admit that I have wondered how it happened, and now I know. They are players of Extreme sports. BUNGEE JUMPING! Talk about a sick sense of humour.